Glens Falls Hospital: A Crisis Unit Success Story

My name is Sean Palladino, and the Glens Falls Hospital saved my life back in September. I voluntarily walked into the emergency department with the support of my now-husband and my therapist for a mental health breakdown. I knew something was wrong with me, as I had three suicide attempts from the preceding six months, with a near-constant stream of suicide ideation thoughts. 

Anxiety has been a part of my life for nearly 20 years. From late childhood until recently, I struggled to cope and understand how to manage my debilitating anxiety. Running was introduced into my life in childhood and that was an amazing way to free myself of the anxious thoughts; all I had to do was move my legs and run. I was never the fastest on the field or track, but I felt alive. The ability to run allowed me to become a part of many local track and soccer teams in my childhood. But I never fully learned how to make friends, despite much guidance and push from my parents. 

I did make one “friend” when I was in elementary and middle school. But it eventually delved into traumatic experiences with bullying and unpleasant situations. Some of which I am still dealing with emotionally. Therapy and meditation are helping to heal those wounds over time. It certainly did leave wounds with how I managed high school and college, pushing me to be secluded and alone despite lots of opportunities to join with others. 

Around 2015, I received a message from a guy named Michael, as I slowly learned about my sexual identity. It was during an annual family trip to the beach. We met for the first time in NYC for a Broadway show, and I felt at peace for the first time. Since that first date until I decided to move into his apartment in 2017, we met at various places around New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. He is the kindest, most intelligent guy I have ever known. And he helped and continues to help make me the man I am today. Even introducing me to the lovely supportive LGBTQIA+ community around us. 

Moving in together was certainly a learning curve for myself, considering I had never lived away from my parents until that point in my life. But Michael’s patience and guidance allowed both of us to learn and adapt gracefully. Eventually allowing us to feel comfortable to purchase our first home in Glens Falls, NY. It truly was a perfect storm; it was the last lot on the block, in 2021, before interest rates and house prices started to rise. 

But through it all, my brain kept getting in the way with its anxious and depressive thoughts; something that I did not understand how to control. Until I walked into the Glens Falls Hospital in September after a suicide attempt. I thought asking for help was a sign of weakness. I tried to fix all my problems the best I could. But we don’t always have the answers, especially when we don’t know what to ask for. And I have certainly learned a lot. 

The nine-day hospital visit allowed me to begin a crash course in psychology. The benefits of different styles of relationship boundaries, from porous to rigid, is essential for keeping my sense of self, identity, and anxiety in balance. Learning meditation and appreciating stillness and silence taught me how to calm my stress response, distancing myself from reactions and emotions. Regaining the ability to write allowed my nearly constant stream of anxious and depressive thoughts to get out of my brain and onto paper, something that is very therapeutic and helpful when making decisions. 

It was not all sunshine and positivity in the hospital, though. The mental health crisis center was a scary experience, at times. Being cooped up in a small room, with only a bed and barely any privacy was not exactly fun. But the intense boredom and lack of freedom allowed my mind to learn how to heal. And learn how to become used to sobriety and not using substances to numb the anxious and depressive thoughts that had been a crutch in my 20's and accelerated in my 30's.

I was given anti-anxiety medication, fluoxetine, for the first time. Something that terrified me for years, mostly from the reported bad experiences from folks that tried them. But for myself, it was a breath of fresh air. Mixed with sobriety, meditation, and the crash course in psychology, I am finally on the journey to heal my past trauma and unhealthy coping skills. 

This journey has allowed me to create habits that have improved my cognitive functions and ability to sustain conversations. It has brought back my love of reading and writing; to the absolute joy from my husband, Michael. 

Once I got the help I needed, learned how to work through my heightened anxiety and debilitating, at times, depression, trained my mind to appreciate meditation, opened up about mental health struggles with friends and family, rebuilt my attention by limiting the endless-strolling social media feeds, and rediscovered my love of putting thoughts to paper (or keyboard), I can now say that my life has value, as it does for all of us.

I am signing up for the Glens Falls 5K at the end of May, and I hope that sharing my story about my hospital experience inspires others going through debilitating mental health struggles that there is hope. And for those living in this region, Glens Falls Hospital is that hope. I am looking forward to conquering the Feeder Canal Trail in May to support the hospital that saved my life.